A Nightmare

I sit here in the darkness of my room. Alone. Alone with my thoughts. I don't want to sleep right now, for my thoughts will invade my dreams, and those dreams will become nightmares. Nightmares. I say the word as if I was not already familiar with it and with what it entails. As if they hadn't become a part of my daily life since before I even knew what to call them. Nightmares. They don't wake me up, and those are by far the worst. They never seem to end. I toss and turn, telling them to fade into happy endings. But they don't. These nightmares that have haunted me for years. They're always tied together somehow. They always end in death. In pain. In tears. In fears. In tragedy. They destroy my life. They destroy my dreams. Dreams. Do I even know them any more? They seem so distant. So out of my reach. So foreign to me now. Dreams. When was the last time I had a dream? A dream so pure and full of happiness. I look out my window. Sunrise. The thought of a nightmare has kept me up. Again. This nightmare, brought to life without my eyes closing. Without me going to sleep. A nightmare. But then, what else could I have expected?